#1 Primo USDA Approved 10/10 High Five Nice Job Internet Beef 4Lyfe 🤘🤘
--Kolton Koehler

Portland's Other White Meat
--Brendan Deiz

I really fucking dug the one time we played a show you guys fucking slayed
--Matthew Etie

As a vegan Internet Beef is the only kind of beef I consume
--Jonathan Wade

Holy shit thats the best band website on the planet!
--Ryan Thuringer

INTERNET BEEF SAVED MY MARRIAGE!!!
My marriage wasn't always in a state of needing to be saved, but my beef game was. Actually it was non-existent for a long time. In my most recent line of work however, I was constantly surrounded by individuals who obviously knew something I didn't because of their astounding choice in beef and how it always seemed to separate the men from the boys (I myself having defaulted in among the boys). Slowly this began affecting my performance at work and anxiety bled into my esteem and my home life. After several years of over-stress and feelings of inadequacy, my already shaky Eastern Orthodox-Judeo arranged marriage would begin to suffer and the last thing I wanted was an unhappy wife coming down on me with incessant criticism on how I needed to change. Thats when, by some miraculous godsend, Internet Beef entered my life and flipped my whole world upside down!! Their selection of Beef is unparalleled and my wife can't stop raving about when I bring home the beef and surprise her. I can't thank these guys enough for all of their help!
Edit: It's been 6 months now since Internet Beef has conquered mine and my wife's beef game, and things have only gotten better! I was offered and accepted a promotion at work, and my wife is now expecting. We're having a baby!! Thanks again Internet Beef!!!
--BRAVO




í̵̢̡̠̠̣̯̟͖̺̲̒̇́̕ ̴͖͖̙̇͐̅̄̾͌̈́͘ļ̶̤̊̾͗͂̀͛͂̀́̈͂̕ǐ̷̢͔̟͍̪̫̩̖̒͊̓s̸̡̧̨̢̛̬͕̜̥̩͓̼̮̟͒͗͋̌̀͛̓̄̽͜ͅt̶̛̛̖̗͕̦͈̼̲̥̘͒̈́̔͐͗͠ͅę̴̰͙͇͎̊̆̆̽̂͝ṇ̸̡̺̝̗̱̩̦̥̝̳̭̇̉̉͛̈́̂̎̌̍̐̆̚͝͠e̶͉̹̹͕̗̎̂̾͑̄́̋́͗̆̃̈́̽̊d̷̯̫̣̬̘̀̀̈́̒̅̈͌͜ ̶̗̜̝̠͎͎͎̣̩̼̑̊͝ť̸͉͚̭̍̄̀̾͑͒͂͑́̎̈́͑͘ǫ̸̛͈̟̦̮̟͔̯͍̙̹̰͓́̅́̄͜ͅ ̵̳͑̅̓̈́̌̄̾͆̑͊͒̅͐͠í̸̡̮̻̖̜̪͎̝̦͖̻͒̇̊̓̿̀͂͝ņ̵̛̘̙̯͎͖̻̼̠͙̍̇̎̄͌̈̌̃̊̃̕͝t̴̫͖̺̩̦̬͂͒̾̏͆͗̓̍̂͂̄̓͠͝e̷̼̱̬̺͙̥̤̤͍͔̙̘̞̎͜ͅŗ̵̙̪͎̭͔̪͓̼̭̜̺̹͗́̽͛̀̎̒n̴̨̯̝̮͊̓͊ě̷̢̥̮̻̰̱̼͙̲̩̩̟̤̻̈̓̐̀̅́͊̆̚͠͝ͅţ̶̧̗͔͎̩̼͈̩̺̣̩͆̈́͝͝ ̸̣͓̭̯̌͐́́͗̂̅̉̅̚b̴̟̓̓̒͛̓̄̈́̈͛̍͆͆ë̶̡͍͙͖͙̗͓͍̳́͘͜e̸̡̤̥̮͙̱̩͌̾̋̊̂̕̚f̷̡̛̜̦͈̝̞̤̣̈́̐̋̊ ̴̙̲̝͕̿́̋̃̈̿̑̄̓͠͝ͅo̶̧̢̟̳̮͎̮̼̹̝̻͔̊̓̏̂̈́̍̆̈́̽̊̆ͅͅṅ̸̡̲͇̼̯͙̫͙͒̀͂̔͘c̸̞̱͖̬̙̻̥̠̯̣̬͚̮̤̓͆̃̄̏̎̑̏̒͑̋̚̚͠͝ͅe̴̙̙̥͖̻̮̯̟͉̙̤͕̝͈̺͋̐́̔ ̴̢̛̜̮̩͈͓̭̇̾̊a̷̡̜̰͙̞̞̠̙̗̐͑̑̍̈̅̚n̷̊͐̀̓̈́̍̀̓̈͛ͅd̸̡̳͔̳̠̫͔͈̳͚̠̺͔͈̻̓̓̔̑̒̾̕ ̷̡͕̮̜̩͔͍̺̒̍̈́̽̿͂͗̂̾̄̑̉͘ņ̵͖̝̖͉̗̫̫̰̹̞̀̑͗̃̄͛̾̄̄̿̏̂̍͝͝ͅo̴̮̳̝͋̎͑͌̅̉̚͜w̵͔͍͙̺̌̌́̓̽̅̍͘ ̷̡̞͚͔̗͉͔͕̳̼͉͖̐̔̍̄̋̀́̾i̶̧̫͙̿͌̏̓͊̍̎ ̵̛̭̤͒̎̈́̒̊̒͛̊̿͝t̴̢̛̛̰̥̻̼̣͍̬̤̰̘͎̃̍̐́̈́̓̂͆̉͜ͅą̸̢̢̡͙̫͍̠̥͖͙̦̔̊͑͠l̸̫͙̰͓͋ḱ̶̢̯̙͂̄͒̑̀̈͛̀̚ ̷̨̗̱̤͕̖̺̭̎̒̀̽̆͛͋͝l̸͖̥̾̄̈͘i̷̞̖̤̅̓͋̌̋ķ̶͕͎̬̥̣̤̖̼̜̗̏̍̽̎̑͋͑́̽̓̎͑̔́̚ę̶̗̲̬̤̘̈́̏̈́͑͂̆̄̒̅̚͠͠ ̴̠̓̍͆̉̓̀ţ̷̺̤̼̭̗̖̱͇̯̉̋́̌̎ȟ̸͎̼̻̫̩͓̺̹̜̟̹͑͆i̴̡̹̝̪̪̙͓̣͙̽͋̓͗̏̆̓̈͊̃̑̌̏͠͝ş̷̨̱̱̪̪̺͈̀́̊̂̆̈́̌̎͒͌̎͆͂̈́̚
--Omar Pena

Internet Beef restored my faith in humanity
--Nathan Gano

U guys were fuckin awesome!
--Gaile Parker

i have intentions to do a blog on it... at some point...
--Matt Dinaro - Rock n Roll PDX

Sexy Polyrhythms, high energy moshable punk Jams, and mountainous Dynamics
--Benjamin Nelson

I thought I was vegan, then I saw internet beef.
--Ryan Vail

I am mad at myself because every time I want to go some shit pops up!! But I listen to your music mad crazy its so freaking good!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
--Alanna Stanley

I've seen some footage and you guys rock! Seriously.
--Holly Goebel

Y'all good...Amazing.....Fantastic....I Love You
--Ethan McGowen

100% BEEF, NO ADDITIVES, NO PRESERVATIVES, JUST BEEF MEDIUM RARE, WELL DONE, I DONT CARE I JUST WANT THE BEEF
--Derik Mendez

Worthy of my attention
--Steve Montague

I love The Internet Beef. It's music that makes my dial up broadband.
--David Hickey

Ask your ISP about BEEF, a low cost, efficient CPC (Capitalist Pig Crusher) that not only lets you taste the web but hold its most inner sanctums like little, bundled baby.
--Jimbo Cutrona

Well that was an experience...
--Anonymous

Please stop liking my pictures. Unfollow me. What you did was beyond extreme. Just stop.
--Un-named

Internet Beef's set tonight would be a good study in "how to move from an opening band to a headlining band."
--Tony Prato

This joke is so annoying to me lol
--Anonymous

It's like....Nickelodeon of a Down
--Jesse Hamlin